Best Erma Bombeck Quotes - 2Quotes
Erma Louise Bombeck (February 21, 1927 – April 22, 1996) was an American humorist who achieved great popularity for her newspaper column that described suburban home life from the mid-1960s until the late 1990s. Bombeck also published 15 books, most of which became bestsellers.
Below are Best Erma Bombeck Quotes.
Erma Bombeck Quotes
1. Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you.
- Erma Bombeck
2. Spend at least one Mother's Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a gift certificate for a flu shot, dump him.
- Erma Bombeck
3. It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
- Erma Bombeck
4. Children make your life important.
- Erma Bombeck
5. Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
- Erma Bombeck
6. It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
- Erma Bombeck
7. Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck
8. When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.
- Erma Bombeck
9. Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. "Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed?" Don't you want to save some of the pizza for your brother?" Wasn't there any change?
- Erma Bombeck
10. Fruitcakes are not different. They all tend to be the same, each having an assortment of incompatible fruits and the distinction of weighing more than the stove they were cooked in.
- Erma Bombeck
11. If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
- Erma Bombeck
12. Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
- Erma Bombeck
13. Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
- Erma Bombeck
14. You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.
- Erma Bombeck
15. What's wrong with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
- Erma Bombeck
16. My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
- Erma Bombeck
17. On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies and the sand out of our belongings.
- Erma Bombeck
18. When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say, "I used everything you gave me.
- Erma Bombeck
19. Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.
- Erma Bombeck
20. A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
- Erma Bombeck
21. Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, No, thank you, to dessert that night. And for what!
- Erma Bombeck
22. When you look like your passport photo, it's time to go home.
- Erma Bombeck
23. Who, in their infinite wisdom, decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.
- Erma Bombeck
24. Great dreams... never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, "How good or how bad am I?" That's where courage comes in.
- Erma Bombeck
25. I'm trying very hard to understand this generation. They have adjusted the timetable for childbearing so that menopause and teaching a sixteen-year-old how to drive a car will occur in the same week.
- Erma Bombeck
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