Top 20 Greatest Stephen Colbert Quotes | 2Quotes
Stephen Tyrone Colbert (born 13 May 1964) is an American satirist, comedian, writer and actor most famous for his work on The Daily Show and, starting in 2005, The Colbert Report, in which he portrays a parody of conservative media pundits. He graduated from Northwestern University in 1986, and appeared in the films Nobody Knows Anything! (2003), Snow Days (1999), and Shock Asylum (1997).
Let's enjoy top 20 Greatest Stephen Colbert Quotes that collected by 2Quotes.
Stephen Colbert Quotes
1. Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics. Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say no. But saying “yes” begins things. Saying “yes” is how things grow. Saying “yes” leads to knowledge. “Yes” is for young people. So for as long as you have the strength to, say “yes”.
― Stephen Colbert
2. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach...just make sure you thrust upward through his ribcage.
― Stephen Colbert
3. There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good.
― Stephen Colbert
4. If you must find your own path, and you are left with no easy path, then decide to take the hard path that leads you to the life and the world that you want.
― Stephen Colbert
5. Tomorrow you're all going to wake up in a brave new world, a world where the Constitution gets trampled by an army of terrorist clones, created in a stem-cell research lab run by homosexual doctors who sterilize their instruments over burning American flags. Where tax-and-spend Democrats take all your hard-earned money and use it to buy electric cars for National Public Radio, and teach evolution to illegal immigrants. Oh, and everybody's high!
― Stephen Colbert
6. Contrary to what people may say, there's no upper limit on stupidity.
― Stephen Colbert
7. Why would we go to war on women?
They don't have any oil.
― Stephen Colbert
8. Realize that the things that people say about you don’t really matter. It’s who you are, and the older you get, the more you’ll understand that.
― Stephen Colbert
9. I may not agree with what you have to say but I will fight you to the death for the right to fight you to the death.
― Stephen Colbert
10. Don't cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it'll be free yogurt.
― Stephen Colbert
11. The pen is mightier than the sword, if you shoot that pen out of a gun.
― Stephen Colbert
12. If you don’t give power to the words that people throw at you to hurt you, they don’t hurt you anymore, and you actually have power over those people.
― Stephen Colbert
13. You said in your book that at the end of the day, every politician is human. What about during the day?
― Stephen Colbert
14. If women are breadwinners and men bring home the bacon, why do people complain about having no dough? I'm confused. Also hungry.
― Stephen Colbert
15. Thankfully, dreams can change. If we had all stuck with our first dream, the world would be overrun with cowboys and princesses.
― Stephen Colbert
16. I love what I do. I want to do comedy. Long ago I realized this is what I’m good at, I hope. I want to do it until I’m not having fun anymore or rather the audience isn’t having any fun at my fun.
― Stephen Colbert
17. The more you know, the sadder you get.
― Stephen Colbert
18. Here's an easy way to figure out if you're in a cult: If you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer is yes.
― Stephen Colbert
19. Obama avoided the Vietnam draft with a letter from his family doctor diagnosing him as medically eight.
― Stephen Colbert
20. I am no fan of books. And chances are, if you're reading this, you and I share a healthy skepticism about the printed word. Well, I want you to know that this is the first book I've ever written, and I hope it's the first book you've ever read. Don't make a habit of it.
― Stephen Colbert
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