15 Most Famous Seinfeld Quotes And Sayings
Seinfeld (1989–1998) was an American television sitcom, airing on NBC, about four friends living in New York City, considered to be one of the most popular and influential of the 1990s in the U.S.
15 Most Famous Seinfeld Quotes And Sayings:
Jerry Seinfeld Quotes
1. Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it. It's too risky. Ya get a sense of it and then you look away.
― Jerry Seinfeld
2. Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we're doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur.
― Jerry Seinfeld
3. You need talent, you need brains, and you need confidence. Those are the three things you need to do virtually anything. Confidence is a fascinating commodity. There’s no upper limit on the usefulness of it, as long as it doesn’t bleed into arrogance.
― Jerry Seinfeld
4. A lot of times, you could play me just the laughs from my set, and I could tell you, from the laugh, what the joke was. Because they match.
― Jerry Seinfeld
5. The best revenge is living well.
― Jerry Seinfeld
6. Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
― Jerry Seinfeld
7. The bedtime routine for my kids is like this Royal Coronation Jubilee Centennial of rinsing and plaque … and the stuffed-animal semicircle of emotional support. And I’ve gotta read eight different books. You know what my bedtime story was when I was a kid? Darkness!
― Jerry Seinfeld
8. Life is truly a ride. We’re all strapped in and no one can stop it. When the doctor slaps your behind, he’s ripping your ticket and away you go. As you make each passage from youth to adulthood to maturity, sometimes you put your arms up and scream, sometimes you just hang on to that bar in front of you. But the ride is the thing. I think the most you can hope for at the end of life is that your hair’s messed, you’re out of breath, and you didn’t throw up.
― Jerry Seinfeld
9. You'll fold faster than Superman on laundry day.
― Jerry Seinfeld
10. Are there keys to a plane? Maybe that's what those delays are sometimes, when you're just sitting there at the gate. Maybe the pilot sits up there in the cockpit going, "Oh, I don't believe this. Dammit..I did it again." They tell you it's something mechanical because they don't want to come on the P.A. system, "Ladies and gentlemen, we're going to be delayed here on the ground for a while. I uh..Oh, God this is so embarrassing...I, I left the keys to the plane in my apartment. They're in this big ashtray by the front door. I'm sorry, I'll run back and get them.
― Jerry Seinfeld
11. If you have something, anything, an ability of some kind, you want to use it. That, I think, is the essence of human living … The idea is to do more in life … Money is nice, but it’s not what really makes you feel good.
― Jerry Seinfeld
12. A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
― Jerry Seinfeld
13. What is this obsession people have with books? They put them in their houses like they're trophies. What do you need it for after you read it?
― Jerry Seinfeld
14. Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge.
― Jerry Seinfeld
15. Stand-up comedy is a counter to the technology boom. We live in an age of gushing information … [and] the human voice is the opposite of that … We crave contact. I think it’s cool and interesting and odd that one person onstage can give you that.
― Jerry Seinfeld
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